Making Friends in Paraguay: Social Codes and Expat Life
Expatriation involves a social paradox that no one truly anticipates. You leave a country where you have friends, family, colleagues, neighbors, a network built over decades, and you arrive in a country where you know no one. The phone doesn't ring. Weekends are empty. Sundays are long. And the feeling of loneliness often sets in within the first few weeks, when the excitement of novelty fades and daily life begins.
This feeling is normal and shared by the vast majority of expatriates. This is what expatriation literature calls the U-curve: the initial euphoria, the descent into disillusionment and isolation, then the rise of integration. This guide aims to shorten the descent and accelerate the ascent by explaining Paraguayan social codes and the channels that actually work for meeting people.
One thing must be said clearly before all else, because it is more important than any networking advice. If sadness persists, if you lose sleep or appetite, if nothing interests you anymore, if you isolate yourself more and more, or if you consume more alcohol than before, it is not a lack of social effort and cannot be solved by joining a running group. The disruption of familiar surroundings, the distance from loved ones, and the language barrier are well-identified factors of vulnerability among expatriates, and there is no weakness in talking about it with a doctor or psychologist. Remote consultation with a French-speaking practitioner is a common and effective option from Paraguay. The rest of this article assumes that you are generally well and are simply looking to build a social life.
That said, the context is favorable. Paraguayans are warm and genuinely curious about foreigners. Questions come quickly, ¿de dónde sos? (where are you from?), ¿qué hacés en Paraguay? (what are you doing in Paraguay?), and they are not mere politeness: they genuinely want to know who you are. This curiosity is a gateway. Furthermore, the French-speaking community in Asunción, which brings together French, Belgians, Swiss, Quebecers, and French-speaking Africans, is active and supportive. The network exists; you just need to join it.
Paraguayan Social Culture: Understanding the Codes
The Seven Social Codes to Know
| Code | Explanation | Advice for the Expat |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Tereré, the Central Social Ritual | Tereré is not just a drink; it's a collective practice. The guampa circulates from hand to hand, everyone sips a few times then passes it on, and conversation follows the circle. Sharing tereré signifies belonging to the group, and being offered a sip is a true mark of inclusion. It is probably the most characteristic ritual of Paraguayan sociability, cutting across all social strata and ages. | Buy your own kit within the first few weeks—guampa, bombilla, yerba, and fresh herbs—and offer it to your neighbors, building manager, or colleagues. The effort of a foreigner preparing their own tereré is very well received and almost always elicits a warm reaction. A useful nuance: sharing a bombilla promotes the transmission of respiratory and oral infections. If you have a cold, or during periods of high viral circulation, politely declining or using your own straw offends no one; the intention matters more than the gesture, and you can very well participate in the circle without drinking. No one is obliged to accept, and a refusal explained with a smile closes no doors. |
| 2. Sunday Asado | This is the social highlight of the week. Families gather, the grill is lit in the late morning, and the meal stretches throughout the afternoon, with conversations, music, and cold beer. An invitation to an asado is significant: it's a family moment, and being invited shows real trust. | Accept, and don't arrive empty-handed: a bottle, a dessert, drinks. Guest contributions are a well-established custom. Then, reciprocate: most residences have a quincho, a common barbecue area, which can be reserved with the building manager one to two weeks in advance. Organizing your own asado and inviting neighbors and acquaintances remains the most effective way to build connections in Asunción, for a very reasonable budget relative to the number of guests. |
| 3. The Kiss and Physical Contact | The approach to contact is more direct than in France. The common greeting is a single kiss on the right cheek, between women and between men and women; men shake hands, often accompanied by a hug, the abrazo. During conversation, touching an arm or shoulder is a sign of attention, not an intrusion. Interpersonal distance is shorter than in Europe. | Remember the simple rule: one kiss, right cheek. Two kisses surprise, three disconcert. As for the abrazo between men, it is perfectly commonplace here and requires no interpretation. That said, these customs remain customs: if you are uncomfortable with contact, a firm handshake accompanied by a smile is perfectly acceptable, and everyone's comfort always takes precedence over custom. |
| 4. The Relationship with Time | Social time is elastic. An appointment set for three o'clock often means sometime within the next hour. Ahora, literally "now," refers to the next few tens of minutes; ya vengo, "I'm coming," is understood in the same spirit. This is not casualness; it is a shared norm. Important distinction: this flexibility applies to social occasions, much less to professional, medical, or administrative appointments, where punctuality is expected. | Do not mistake lateness for a lack of consideration; that would be a misunderstanding. However, nothing prevents you from simply stating that you are the type to arrive on time and asking for a message in case of a delay; phrased with humor, the remark is well-received. And adapt your own expectations: allowing for a margin avoids much unnecessary frustration. |
| 5. Family at the Center | Family is the cornerstone of Paraguayan social life. People live close to their relatives, extended family sees each other very regularly, and family events—birthdays, communions, gatherings—take precedence over almost everything else, including work. Expatriates who form strong friendships often find themselves integrated into their friend's family, invited to parents' homes, to parties, with a generosity that is surprising. | Show interest in the families of the people you interact with. A question as simple as ¿cómo está tu mamá? (how is your mother?) opens more doors than a long speech: it's the most natural and appreciative conversation topic. And if you are adopted by a Paraguayan family yourself, understand what that represents: it's a reciprocal commitment, not a service. |
| 6. Guaraní, the Language of the Heart | Paraguay is officially bilingual, and the vast majority of the population speaks Guaraní, often mixed with Spanish in the same sentence, known as jopará. Spanish is the language of formality and administration; Guaraní is the language of emotion, humor, and intimacy. Understanding this distribution means understanding a large part of the country's social life. |
A few words are enough to make a disproportionate impact, because they show respect for a language of which Paraguayans are proud:
Have your pronunciation corrected by a native speaker rather than relying on a written transcription: Guaraní includes sounds, particularly nasal and glottal, that are not apparent in text. Asking a neighbor to teach you three words is, in itself, an excellent way to strike up a conversation. |
| 7. Generosity and dar sin esperar (giving without expecting) | Paraguayan generosity often surprises Europeans with its spontaneity. A neighbor brings a dish for no particular reason, a colleague offers fruit from their garden, a shopkeeper adds the yapa, the little free extra. It's not calculated and expects nothing in return, hence the expression: giving without expecting. | Respond in the same vein, without turning it into an accounting exercise. A cake the following week, a helping hand, a thoughtful gesture at the right time. Reciprocity is not demanded but it is noticed, and it is what makes the relationship last. However, avoid turning every gesture into a transaction: that would be missing the point. |
Where to Meet People
Socialization Channels
| Channel | Description | What to Expect |
|---|---|---|
| Expat Messaging Groups | This is the quickest entry point for a newcomer. Several French-speaking and English-speaking groups cover Asunción, with daily activity: recommendations for doctors, artisans, and restaurants, practical questions answered in minutes, and organization of happy hours, outings, and asados. To join, you usually just need to ask on public social media groups or from an already established expat: adding is almost always immediate, because everyone remembers arriving alone. | Very effective for initial contacts and practical questions. Join several upon arrival, keeping in mind that these groups are a starting point and not a social life in themselves. |
| The Embassy, Alliance Française, and Lycée (French School) | The French Embassy organizes several events throughout the year, particularly around national day and Francophonie Day, open to French nationals registered with the consular registry: this is an opportunity to meet long-term expatriates. The Alliance Française in Asunción offers cultural programming and courses, and is a meeting place for French speakers and Francophile Paraguayans. Finally, if you have children, the Lycée Français Marcel Pagnol is a natural meeting point: parents meet around the school, at parties and outings, and many friendships start there. | Effective for structured meetings. The setting is initially formal; relationships become informal afterwards. Remember to register with the registry of French nationals living abroad, which is a prerequisite for access to some of these invitations. |
| Sport |
This is the most powerful channel, because it creates regularity, the only true condition for friendship. Some particularly effective options in Asunción:
|
The most lasting channel. A common-sense caveat: adjust the intensity to the climate and your physical condition, especially in the first few months, and consult a doctor if you are returning after a long break. |
| Spanish Classes | The most profitable dual investment: you learn the language and meet other expatriates in exactly the same situation as you. Small group classes create immediate solidarity, as you fail and progress together. Asunción has several language schools, with monthly group formulas or hourly private lessons, at very affordable rates compared to European standards. | Effective on both fronts, which is rare. Classmates from the first few months often remain close friends. |
| Events and Outings |
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Effective for initial contacts. Remember that the event is a beginning, not an end: friendship is built in what happens afterward, when someone suggests meeting again. |
| Volunteering | Volunteering for an association is one of the most profound ways to meet Paraguayans, because the bonds formed around a common project are of a different nature than those from a happy hour. There is no shortage of areas: social construction and housing, education and entrepreneurship, environmental protection, literacy, teaching French. Inquire with the Alliance Française, the lycée, or expat groups to identify reputable organizations, and verify the transparency of the organization before committing, financially or in terms of time. | Very effective for lasting relationships with Paraguayans. It also gives meaning to an expatriation, beyond material comfort. |
| Your Neighbors and the Building Manager | These are your first daily contacts, and the most underestimated. The building manager sees you every day, knows the neighborhood, the artisans, the building's habits. A warm greeting, a few minutes of conversation in the lobby, a thoughtful gesture from time to time, and a relationship develops. As for neighbors, residences function like vertical villages: you cross paths in the elevator, at the pool, in the quincho, and greetings turn into conversations and then invitations. Provided you make the first move. | The foundation of your daily life. Treat these relationships for what they are, human relationships, not as a network to activate. |
| Online Platforms | Public social media groups dedicated to French speakers and expatriates in Asunción are active and well-supplied with events. There are also platforms dedicated to international communities that organize monthly gatherings, and apps designed for friendly encounters, used by newcomers to find sports or outing partners. | Useful for getting started, provided you transition offline quickly. A basic precaution for a first meeting with someone met online: choose a public, busy place, during the day, and inform a friend or family member of the location and time. This applies here as it does everywhere else. |
Mistakes That Hinder Integration
Six Traps to Avoid
| Mistake | Why it's a problem | The Solution |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Staying in the Expat Bubble | Associating only with expatriates creates a sense of confinement. Conversations endlessly revolve around what is missing and what doesn't work, and this circulation of frustrations amplifies them rather than easing them. You end up living in Paraguay without ever truly being there, missing out on the country and its culture. | Allow the two circles to coexist rather than choosing one. Expat friends offer the comfort of a shared language and common references, and no one understands what you're going through better; Paraguayan friends open up the country. The exact balance matters little and will develop naturally: what matters is not to let one circle disappear at the expense of the other. |
| 2. Comparing Everything to France | "In France, it's better," "in France, people are on time": systematic comparison is the slow poison of expatriation. It makes you unhappy and alienates your interlocutors, who are proud of their country and perfectly perceive condescension, even unintentional. | Replace comparison with the observation of difference, without hierarchy. Showing genuine interest in what is done here—the cuisine, music, language—produces an immediate effect on the quality of the welcome. This obviously doesn't prevent you from saying that you miss certain things: it's legitimate, and saying it to a friend is very different from constantly proclaiming it. |
| 3. Not learning Spanish | Without Spanish, your social life remains confined to the French-speaking community, which numbers in the hundreds, whereas the country has several million people. Language is the key to everything else: without it, you live in a comfortable but closed environment, without a true connection to the host country. | Start from day one and accept being bad for a long time. Daily application, group classes for structure, and especially real conversations with the people you meet every day. Paraguayans are forgiving and encouraging with those who try. Expect several months before reaching a conversational level, with an initial unrewarding period followed by a rather clear breakthrough. |
| 4. Waiting for others to come to you | This is the most frequent and costly mistake. People who are already settled here have a family, friends, a job: they are open but they don't have a void to fill. The initiative is yours, not out of injustice but simply due to an asymmetry of situation. | Propose, invite, organize. A coffee with a neighbor, an asado at the quincho, joining a club, participating in an event. The first steps are the most uncomfortable; then it becomes natural. Also accept that some attempts may lead nowhere: this is not a personal failure; it's the normal functioning of building a network, here as elsewhere. |
| 5. Neglecting relationships with Paraguayans | "I don't speak Spanish, we can't communicate" is a false obstacle. You won't be judged on your grammar but on your attitude: a smile, openness, respect, and a visible effort to say a few words in Spanish or Guaraní are largely enough to initiate a relationship. | Invest in daily relationships: the doorman, the Spanish teacher, the butcher, the hairdresser, the neighbors. This is the breeding ground for friendships, and these bonds are forged gradually, over months. A simple principle: treat everyone with the same consideration, regardless of their position. This is the foundation of everything here, and it is immediately noticeable, both positively and negatively. |
| 6. Living your social life through a screen | Spending all your evenings on video calls with France can prevent you from investing in your life here. The risk is not the contact itself, but that it becomes a comfortable substitute that keeps you from going out. | Don't ration your calls: staying connected with loved ones is precious, and it's even one of the best-established protective factors during expatriation. The right balance is not to cut off but to add: deliberately block out one or two evenings a week for an outing here, and keep the rest as you see fit. If you find that you systematically decline local invitations to stay home, that's the signal to watch, not the number of calls. |
The Expat Social Calendar
An Action Plan for the First Year
This calendar is a guide, not a strict rule. Some build a network in three months, others in a year, and the pace depends on your family situation, activities, and temperament. If you are behind this schedule, it means absolutely nothing.
| Period | Actions | Objective |
|---|---|---|
| The first two weeks | Join expat messaging groups. Introduce yourself to the building's doorman and your floor neighbors. Enroll in a group Spanish class. Identify upcoming events. Buy your tereré kit. | Initial contacts and networking foundations. |
| The first and second month | Attend some community events, happy hours, or outings. Join a gym or sports club, choosing the activity for its regularity rather than its prestige. Get used to the neighborhood fair on weekends. Organize a first asado at the quincho with some people you've met. | First friendships and establishment of social routines. |
| From the third to the sixth month | Spanish becomes usable: engage in real conversations with Paraguayans. Participate in an event at the embassy or Alliance Française. Get involved in a community project. Mix circles by inviting a Paraguayan colleague or neighbor to your own gatherings. Venture beyond the central districts. | Transition from frequenting to integration. |
| From the sixth to the twelfth month | Relationships solidify: you are invited to people's homes, called by your first name, and know their families. You start to be the one who welcomes newcomers and introduces them to groups. This is the most reliable sign that the transition is complete. | Sense of belonging. |
Social Activities in Asunción
Recurring Appointments
- Community Asados. Expat groups regularly organize these, bringing together fifteen to thirty people. Newcomers are always welcome, and individual participation remains modest. This is the simplest event for a first time: you can arrive alone without any issues.
- Weekend Happy Hours. Informal gatherings on Friday evenings in bars in the central districts, where newcomers are introduced and conversations are relaxed. A practical note: alcohol is cheap here and promotional offers are generous, so plan your return trip in advance and do not drive.
- Weekend Excursions. Group outings to the Jesuit missions, Monday Falls, San Bernardino and Lake Ypacaraí, or estancias. A shared day creates more bonds than ten happy hours, and it's also the best way to discover the country beyond the capital.
- Shared Dinners. The principle is simple and works everywhere: everyone brings a dish, on a theme, French one evening, Paraguayan the next. It's convivial, inexpensive, and provides a pretext for gathering without heavy organization.
- Paraguayan Cooking Workshops. Chipás, empanadas, sopa paraguaya, mbejús, learned from Paraguayan cooks. These are cultural as much as culinary experiences, and one of the rare formats where you talk a lot while doing something with your hands, which greatly facilitates exchanges when Spanish is still hesitant.
- Concerts and Festivals. Asunción's music scene is vibrant, ranging from traditional repertoire, Paraguayan polka and guarania, to contemporary scenes. Admission is affordable and music remains the meeting ground that requires the least vocabulary.
Conclusion
Building a social life in Paraguay is more accessible than in many other countries. The culture of tereré, asado, and sharing creates natural bridges, curiosity towards foreigners is genuine, and Asunción's French-speaking community is active enough that you won't be alone for long if you take a few steps.
Five things really matter. Regularity, first: friendships are born from repetition, which explains why sports and classes work better than one-off events. Spanish next, to start without delay, because everything else depends on it. Initiative, because it's up to you and no one will knock on your door. Mixing circles, expatriates and Paraguayans, each bringing what the other cannot provide. And a few words of Guaraní, the effect of which is out of proportion to the effort required.
Then there's patience. The first few months are the most difficult for almost everyone, and it's also the period when you doubt your choice the most. This phase is normal and says nothing about your ability to successfully settle in. Take your time, maintain your connections with France without letting them replace those here, and if isolation becomes heavy or persistent, talk to a professional rather than waiting for it to pass. Most expatriates settled in Asunción will tell you the same thing: a year later, the question no longer arises.
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